Saturday, April 23, 2011

Love Relationships Are Overrated and Sometimes Dumb




Love, love, love. If it’s not politics or work then its freaking love. Relationships have driven people crazy. All what they think about is finding that future husband or the search for loving faithful wife. I don’t know about you but what I have noticed is whenever a girl or a guy graduates from college or to be more specific when a girl graduates or let’s just say generally single, then the immediate “issue” at hand is if she isn’t already in a relationship then she should be. If she is in a relationship then she is off the hook!

It doesn’t matter if you have known her that well, but anyone’s conversation starter with her even if he/she barely knows her usually goes like this, “So, are you in a relationship?” and all what goes on her mind is, “Hey, wait a second. Why are we discussing my personal life again? Do we even know each other?” Or, it could be something like this, “Are we going to hear some good news soon?” Then, she thinks, “What good news? Do you even care? I have got my own close friends and family and they have been happily committed in a relationship. Sure I am happy they are happy as long as they are happy but do I lay awake at night smiling like an idiot for no reason because I am so happy for them? No, I don’t and I am sure as hell you wouldn’t feel the same way about me. You don’t even know me!” or she might be thinking something like, “No, just like last week when you asked me for the hundredth time.”

Not to mention the huge pressure those girls get from their family and relatives about finding the one and getting married even if she is so young. What if she doesn’t want to be committed now and enjoys being single? What if she is seeing someone but she doesn’t want to brag? What if she is deeply hurt? What if she wants to focus on her career? What if she just wants to travel? What if she is longing for love but you’re nagging about it isn’t really helping? What if? What if? (That could go for the “he” as well you know.)

And, what’s with girls? I mean come on. Why are you setting those bars that high? I mean seriously have a look at the mirror. You are not princess Diana yourself. High standards, it’s all about high standards in here. The things that parents will put on those girls minds would set them miles away from a relationship: he has to be rich; he has to have a nice car; he must own an apartment in a great place; he has to have an established well paid career; and he has to be SUPERMAN. Give it a break already and then you complain your daughter hasn’t found the “one” yet. Please just please. He just needs to have both potential and ambition and he will do wonders in the future. Just have a little patience. You can’t just have it all. It doesn’t work that way.

Once again, girls are always looking for that superman delusion at the “personality” aspects as well, which just drags them to be attracted to jerks. Yes, jerks. He has to be good looking, charismatic, charming, fit, dresses nicely and smart. Girls dig drama and are attracted to guys who are interesting and always got the most memorable “adventurous” stories. Guess who can make such great first impressions? Jerks! They are always confident, funny and great conversationalists. Nice guys who are genuinely interested, on the other hand, sadly fail to make good first impressions like those and so girls don’t give them much of a chance. Why? Perhaps it’s because he is “predictable” or doesn’t dress nicely. Grow up!

Apparently since everyone is talking about it all the time, then it is this important. Though what I don’t understand, would people just embark into a relationship just for the sake of it or is that they want to fall in love, share their life and well just be happy? What surprises me is why do people give it that much of importance? Why don’t they just live their lives and let it happen when it happens?

From the little experience that I have, I only know that people can be both happy and miserable while being single or in a couple. Just remember that not all those in relationships are really happy flying over the rainbows. Breakups happen every day and divorce rates are racing up like they are in the Marathon. 

Oh and one more thing. Bear me some more. Would you?

Girls: Not every guy who is nice is interested in you. Some people are just nice. Deal with it.  Also, not every jerk out there who treats you like he doesn’t care is secretly loving you but just playing hard to get. He is just a jerk and he genuinely doesn’t care. Not every guy who doesn’t like you at the first encounter or date is “breaking up” with you. So, please stop acting like you have been dumped from a long loving relationship. Get over it already.

Guys: Not every girl who laughs at your jokes and thinks you are funny is secretly in love with you. Sometimes she just thinks you are funny. Yes, it is that simple. Besides, her being friendly and nice sometimes doesn’t mean she is interested in you. It might just means she considers you as a good friend. Don’t be weird and freaky. Okay? Also, do yourself a favor and if you like a girl, go get her! Don’t chicken out and keep on waiting for the “right” moment because it doesn’t exist. If you don’t get her now, someone else will.

All I am trying to say here is that relationships are so overrated. We give them so much more attention than they deserve. Everyone can be happy the way they are.

PS: This is a girl’s point of view, which might not be like the other girls views and I might as well use some of the advice up there. Guys, I am not sure if you go through the same thing. You tell me.

Image Credits to Photographer: photostock

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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Really good article... and most of the things are true. I almost took my life because I wasn't in a relationship... because I thrived for relationship so much...

Sherwette Mansour said...

I am so sorry to hear that... I really hope everything has become better now... The important thing is to always try to do what you love and good things will happen regardless of relationships...

Mohamed Hani said...

Well, unfortunately this is true....

Anonymous said...

I too got so ridiculously frustrated that I'm currently trying to truly give up on love now that I have done the same for politics and the lifelong race up the career ladder...this coming from a guy who has a ton on things going for him. good looking smart educated talented sweet fun "endowed" adventurous financially secure good listener. Who knows maybe someday I'll meet someone who ACTUALLY wants those things. I'm def not the exciting bad boy type

Anonymous said...

Sherwette, I enjoyed your article very much. Thank you for posting it. I'm a male in his thirties. I was also thinking of taking my life because I wanted to be in a relationship so badly. I recently traveled to a different country and it has been the most meaningful and rewarding experience of my life. I'm thinking of saving money for 7 months of the year and then traveling for the other 5 months of the year, for the rest of my life. I'm starting to realize that being single has advantages and disadvantages, and that being in a relationship has advantages and disadvantages. I think the article "Single and Happy It’s the norm, not the exception" by Bella DePaulo, is worth reading if you think you will be happier in a relationship compared to being single. Also, I think google searches for "relationships are overrated" are worth looking at. That's how I found this article :)

Anonymous said...

I agree with you. I used to overrate the importance of being in a relationship. I had two breakups before, and lived the illusions for a couple of years, just to realize that I spent the most precious years of my life just seeking for a recovery relationship. It doesn't come like that and it isn't the end of the world. There are more important things in life, from building a character to finding the purpose of life. A lot of things we miss in life because we are just blinded by the need to 'cling' to someone. Anyway...

Anonymous said...

single is dif the new norm. i come home and do what i want. no nagging about weed and video games, no peer pressure to score drugs and when i dont want to do something i dont have to say no 15 times to a 25 yr old female baby. sometimes i get lonely and i even occasionally cry myself to sleep as a result but that occasional pain is much better then being verbaly abused everyday and being angry all the time. single is the way to go man! it sucks sometimes but not nearly as much as being in a relationship.

Sherwette Mansour said...

Probably you don't want to "score drugs" anyways. It's not rainbows and sunshines but it ain't that bad as well.

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